i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
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she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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