Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Oh god it's open bar.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
