he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
