walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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