just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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