Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I just googled if crying burns calories
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
