the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
be there in ten.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
This is the high leading the old right now
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.