I want to have your abortion
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.