He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
