I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
