Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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