Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
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