Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
