Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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