in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
