Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
