remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
