i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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