making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
