The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
