I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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