Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
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