so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Ketchup is God's man juice
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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