Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
