fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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