Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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