using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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