Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
