community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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