yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
