I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
