Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I was not drunk enough for that final.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
