This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
