This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
honey bunches of taint.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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