i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
