it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
