I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
