I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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