worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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