I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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