seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
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there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
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My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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