Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
