if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
