ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
