VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My vagina is officially offended.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
