he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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