it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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