Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We have started to decorate penises.
50% drunk capacity currently
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
