So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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