What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
pray to the hookup gods
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
