Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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