I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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