Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
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