mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
