We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
