if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
