She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
