im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
