think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
