when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
This baby is an asshole
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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