OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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