I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
