party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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